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Recently, I've been attending an online teaching workshop where participants hone their teaching and public speaking skills. We all take turns lecturing and giving each other feedback. One time, after I gave my lecture, a classmate said, "Your clothing and appearance are very neat and professional, but the bookshelves in your background are a bit messy. Maybe you can clean them up to give the audience a better impression." I thanked my classmate for her feedback.
I thought organizing my bookshelves would be a relatively simple matter, but unexpectedly, I faced many challenges throughout the process and failed quite miserably at being the wise and composed philosopher that I aspire to be.
Firstly, I usually do weekly cleaning on Saturdays. I got this feedback on Friday, so I decided to clean and organize the bookshelves the next day. Usually, it takes me around an hour to clean the house. I started upstairs, and when I finished vacuuming the office, I stayed there and started organizing the bookshelves. I thought it might not take too long, so I may as well do it now while I'm in the office. The result? After three hours, I still wasn't done (my shelves had a lot of stationery and other things to organize aside from books). Moreover, I had a lot of other work to do, so I got rather impatient, frustrated, and annoyed.
Around two hours in, my mother came in and tried to help. After all, a lot of the books and stuff on the shelves are her things, and I put a lot of things that I think she no longer wants on the ground for her to check. She started talking to me about what to keep and what not to keep, and I impatiently said, "You can decide. Those are your things."
She replied, "OK. Take it easy. I know cleaning the bookshelf is a lot of work, but you don't need to get so worked up about it."
I said, "I've already spent 3 hours cleaning and reorganizing these shelves, and I'm still not done. I have so much other work that I need to do. I don't have time for this. I'm going to finish this shelf and then continue another day."
Later that day, I reflected that the root of my annoyance is myself. It is my problem for not prioritizing my time properly and for not planning properly. I usually do house cleaning after lunch on Saturdays, so I felt like since I'm cleaning anyway, I may as well clean the bookshelves along the way. That's where my problem started. Looking back, I should've first done my normal cleaning, as well as all my work time-sensitive work, then see if there's time to clean the bookshelf.
On the surface, it seems like a small problem, but on a deeper level, it is a big problem. The problem is I care too much about convenience. As a result, I put convenient tasks (cleaning the bookshelves along with my usual house cleaning) in front of important tasks (all the other time sensitive work I needed to do).
This attitude problem will manifest differently in different situations. For example, sometimes I go out shopping for specific things, and conveniently I see another store that I could check out. I figure I may as well check it out since I usually wouldn't have this opportunity. The result is wasting time that I can't afford to waste. Thus I need to remember: Don't be greedy for convenience; be clear on my priorities, or else I'll waste time that I can't afford to waste.
Secondly, I didn't really think about how long it might take to clean these bookshelves nor plan a time to clean them. If I had spent time first to think about it, I would probably realize that it's not a 15-minute task. It probably takes at least an hour or two. Then I need to remember to always be conservative in my time estimates and give myself lots of buffer time. So if I think it takes an hour or two, I should plan two hours, not one. I should also have back up plans for things. For example, if I'm not done in two hours, don't get rushed or agitated or be stubborn about finishing that day. My next lecture isn't until the Friday after, so I can plan another day as a backup cleaning day. By doing planning, I won't have unrealistic expectations; by being conservative in my planning and having a back up plan, I won't get agitated or impatient when things take longer than expected.
Thirdly, it's not fair for me to vent annoyance on my mother. I don't like others venting random anger on me, so I certainly shouldn't do it to others.
Fourth, my mother told me, "It's a bit disrespectful of you to just put my stuff on the ground without getting my permission first. You should discuss with me first to set a time to clean together rather than just starting yourself." Indeed, because I was greedy for convenience and speed, I neglected my mother's feelings.
After I reflected on all my problems that night, I resolved to do better next time. I decided that I would clean the rest of the bookshelves as soon as I can in the next few days, but the prerequisite is that I get my priorities correct, and I communicated this with my mother.
On Sunday, I didn't have time. On Monday, I did, and I calmly cleaned the rest of the shelves. Moreover, I changed my attitude from "I have to finish this annoying chore" to one of gratitude: I am thankful to my bookshelves not only for holding all these books for me all these years, but also for the philosophy session.
Concluding Thoughts
Are you ever greedy for convenience and speed, resulting in unnecessary annoyance and lack of consideration for others?
Do you ever get distracted by convenience or short-term gains and lose sight of bigger priorities?
Do you ever vent negative emotions on others?
Are your bookshelves neat? 😉
Weekly Wisdom #314
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